Unwind and Thrive: 14 Stress-Reducing Tips for Moms
Sep 28, 2022
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“Stress Is The Trash Of Modern Life – We All Generate It, But If You Don’t Dispose Of It Properly, It Will Pile Up And Overtake Your Life.” – Danzae Pace
Who Am I?
My name is Tatiana. At this point in my life, I am a mother of 4 beautiful children and wife to an amazing husband. I am writing this blog post “14 Ways for Women to Reduce Stress” to help other women, like myself, who may suffer occasionally from stress and anxiety.
How did I get here?
I was born in a land far, far away. As a carefree little girl, some of my earliest memories are of climbing trees and picking strawberries in the fields. My father was in the military, so my family had the stress of moving over and over again. I went to school and eventually graduated from college with an accounting degree and then university with a law degree. After college, I worked in a couple of different jobs in customs for some private companies and also as a government clerk in the legislative assembly. I was happy to have these jobs, but they were quite stressful and unfulfilling.
Since I was little, I always wanted to be a mom and raise a family. I decided to focus on this part of my life. The saying “It is so hard to find a good man.” turned out to be true. My dearest friends at the time were also going through the same experience so we were able to console each other and encourage each other throughout this process. It was at this time that I started reading self-help books and came across Louise Hay and her focus on self-improvement through daily affirmations. I found my prince charming a short time later. I truly believe the daily affirmations helped me to find my future spouse.
My prince charming happened to live on the other side of the world. I chose to move around the world to be with him. We got married and we have lived happily ever after since then… well, not quite.
In love with a catch…
While I love my husband and was happy to be with him, it turns out that the stress of leaving my family, my friends, my country, and everything I knew to move around the world built up inside and eventually put me in the hospital several times with what appeared to be heart attacks but was diagnosed as anxiety attacks. My doctors and specialists insisted that I find a way to reduce my stress so that I could stay out of the hospital. While I did listen to my doctors, I only half-heartedly looked into ways to reduce my stress. However, stress, like other moods and emotions can be contagious. It was only after having 4 amazing kids and seeing how my stress and anxiety affected them that I finally decided to wholeheartedly focus on self-care. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
So, over the past 10 years, I have researched and done trial and error on the stress relief remedies that I found. So now, I just want to help by sharing my thoughts and experiences so that someone else might find relief from the stress and anxiety from which they are suffering!
My Best 14 Tips
Okay, now with that out of the way, I’m super excited to share the top 14 ways I discovered on
my OWN to help reduce daily stress. Let’s start with #1:
1. Shower or Bath
Per Chinese customs, water is the source of life on this planet and is yin energy and therefore feminine. Water cleanses not only the physical body but also the soul where emotions accumulate.
If you have experienced a stressful situation, just take a cool shower, preferably washing your face and hair as well, to wash all heaviness and negativity. While taking a shower, you can visualize how the shower washes away everything negative from you and fills you with a beautiful color, light, or whatever you like.
My preference is to take a long, warm bath. Aromatic oils, honey, bath salts, etc. can be added to the bath water if you wish. I like to use Epsom Salt in my bath as it helps to relax my aching muscles.
What do you prefer? Shower or bath?
Consider these bath time enhancements:
2. Light
In difficult situations, everything seems gloomy and gray to us, right? To get out of this it is very important to fill yourself with light so that the stressful processes will stop. How to do this?
The first option, if the sun is outside, look at it, open up to its rays, stand under them, and imagine how the sun fills you from the inside, driving out everything dark from you. This is my personal preference and is one of the reasons my family now lives in Southern Arizona. My children and I like to say “Good morning” to the sun. It is one of the best and most positive ways to start a new day.
The second option is to light a candle. Just watch it and imagine how the candle fills your body with natural warmth. Per Chinese custom, fire has the strongest purifying qualities, so this candle will purify your mind.
The third option is to close your eyes and imagine how your body is filled with light.
Have you ever stared at a lit candle? What were your thoughts when doing so?
My favorite candles:
Chesapeake Bay Scented Candles (link)
3. Breathe
I have four amazing children whom I love deeply. However, as most moms can attest, there are days when the stress and frustration build to the point where you want to yell and scream. Nearly all parenting books tell you to stop, take a deep breath, and count to ten. This does work and I believe the deep breath is the key factor.
Another breathing technique is called the “Take 5 Breathing Technique”. This is where you trace your 5 fingers on one hand with the pointer finger on the other hand and breathe in while going up a finger and breathe out while going down the finger. It works great for adults and children. We are teaching our children this technique.
When we feel bad, we refuse to breathe deeply, and our chest shrinks. Breath is life. To bring yourself back to the state of life, breathe deeply with all your lungs. In psychology, there is a whole trend that helps to get out of difficult experiences with the help of breathing. Breathe calmly and listen to your breathing. Over time your thoughts will turn off and peace will return to you.
Try this simple exercise: Breathe in deep and then slowly exhale. Repeat 3 times.
Try this simple exercise: Breathe in deep and then slowly exhale. Repeat 3 times.
Consider this to help with your breathing:
Breathing Necklace for Stress (link)
4. Aromatherapy
The sense of smell can affect the female body quite strongly. Certain smells can change our mood, which is why women tend to keep a lot of perfume bottles with different scents. But for health, it is preferable to use aromatic oils.
Some scents you might consider for improving your mood include fruity scents which are uplifting, soothing sandalwood, and rosemary which can reduce anxiety.
You could also consider scented candles. My girls love scented candles, but for me, scented candles tend to be less potent than incense or oils.
Have you ever burned incense while taking a bath?
My favorite organic essential oil sets:
Cliganic Top 8 Organic Essential Oils (link)
Cliganic Top 8 Organic Essential Oils with Diffuser (link)
5. Movement
Movement. More specifically, a short walk in the fresh air in any weather can change your mood and thoughts. It can be a walk alone, with children, or with your significant other, depending on the circumstances and time.
To be clear, it should be a walk outside in the fresh air with the only intent to enjoy the walk while observing nature or the city around you. Walking around a store while you are shopping, chasing after kids, or running on a treadmill for exercise does not count toward the movement I am describing.
How does walking outside reduce your stress? Research has shown that controlled movements like walking release endorphins also known as the happy hormone.
My favorite walks are along one of the many nature trails in the vicinity of my home. Bonus relaxation if there is a brook or stream along the path where I can just sit and watch the water babble and flow downstream.
Do you have a favorite walking trail? Is it in a city park? Along a stream?
6. Music
Have you ever had one of those days when the children are just whining, crying, and fussing all afternoon or morning? This is very stressful for me. The longer that it continues, the more stress that I feel. Has this ever happened to you? What did you do to destress and unwind?
When I only have a short period to destress, I put my headphones in and listen to my favorite music. For me, this usually works quickly to change my mood for the better. I wasn’t sure why it worked so well for me, so I did some online research.
Studies have shown that listening to music can reduce your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, decrease the stress hormone cortisol, and increase serotonin and endorphin levels in your blood. Studies have also shown that listening to music increases the brain’s production of dopamine which relieves feelings of anxiety and depression.
I know everyone has their own preference for music, but when it comes to relieving stress and changing your mood, it is preferable to listen to positive, relaxing, or upbeat music. Sounds of nature like ocean waves and babbling streams can be relaxing.
What is your favorite relaxing music?
7. Massage
Ever had a busy and stressful day and then all of a sudden you have shooting pain in your back, a stiff neck, or a knot in your shoulder? Tension from stress tends to accumulate in one area of the body which often is the shoulders and surrounding areas.
An effective way to relieve yourself of this tension is to massage and stretch these zones on your own. It is even better if your loved one does it for you. In addition, women are very sensitive to touch. Our bodies have 6 times more bodily receptors than men. Long, relaxing massages result in happiness.
Over the years, my husband has become quite good at giving me back, neck, and shoulder massages. While at times I wish his massages were longer, I am happy to get them. How did I convince him to give me massages nearly every day? Simple. I just showed him how much money we could save by him doing it rather than me going to a masseuse every week. He is happy, I am happy. It is a win-win situation for both of us.
What is your favorite type of massage? Swedish? Hot stone? Other?
Consider these for sore muscles:
M3 Naturals Ylang Ylang and Ginger Massage Lotion (link)
MAJESTIC PURE Sore Muscle Massage Oil with Arnica (left)
8. Communication
Talk with positive and kind people. There are people from whom the energy of calmness and confidence that everything will be fine comes. Often these are our parents who protected us as children or good friends. It is very important for you to communicate and share your experiences with people who wish you well. And sometimes you need to be the person who helps your friends in their emotional crises. Get support when you need it!
Who is your go-to person to talk with in order to improve your mood?
9. Drawing & Coloring
Did you happen to notice all the adult coloring books in the stores around the year 2015? I did. And I have to admit that I bought one or two… or more than 10. I had to because my children kept taking them from me!
In all honesty, I found the coloring to be relaxing. While my focus was on coloring and drawing my pictures to color, I was able to ignore my daily worries for a while.
Your drawings and coloring can be done with a #2 simple pencil, colored pencils, or even with paint. It doesn’t matter if you are an artist or not. It can be any drawing, depending on your mood. I prefer drawing and coloring flowers, nature, and mandalas which tend to be more relaxing for me.
If you have children let them color and draw with you. It is quality time with your children which they will love. Only help if they ask and don’t hover or stress about them doing something “wrong” … it is just drawing and coloring. Benefit for you: You learn to not stress about the little things. Benefits for children: There are many. Improved fine motor skills, using their imagination, improving their creativity, but most of all, they get to spend time with mom!
You can see some of my drawings and paintings here.
You can also check my Mindful Coloring Book for Adults and Kids (link).
Have you ever tried going to one of the painting studios where you and your girlfriends or significant other can sip wine while painting?
Some of my favorite art tools & mediums:
Practica Stretched Cotton Canvas (link)
Princeton Paint Brush Sets (link)
Top Spiral Bound Sketch Book (link)
10. Your Hobby
Hobbies are tenth on the list of 14 ways for women to reduce stress.
This can be knitting or crocheting, macramé, cross-stitching, sewing, gardening, weaving, creating jewelry, painting, cooking, etc. If you don’t have a hobby, choose what you like best and start learning. Again, the goal is for you to focus on doing something enjoyable to improve your mood instead of focusing on the negative stresses and worries of the day.
My favorite hobby, by far, is crocheting. I have been crocheting jackets, shawls, blankets, gloves, sweaters, etc. since I was a little girl of 8 or 9 years old. These days, I find that crocheting helps to keep my sore finger joints nimble and is a good way to distract me from my daily stress for a while. Please check out my crochet page to learn more about my favorite hobby.
What is your favorite hobby? If you don’t have one, what do you wish you always could learn to do?
Recommendations from my hobbies:
Counting Crochet Hooks Set (link)
Cutco Gardening Tools
11. Meditation
I am sure that many people have heard of meditation and have an idea of what it means. Meditation has been around for thousands of years. Today, meditation is widely used to relieve physical pain in addition to a method of dealing with stress. Meditation is for the rejuvenation of both your body and spirit.
Why does meditation help with reducing stress? During meditation, you focus your attention which eliminates all the jumbled, random thoughts that are filling your head and causing you stress.
When do I meditate? I use the 20-30 quiet minutes when my husband takes the kids to school or when they go to bed for a nap. It doesn’t have to be a long time in the beginning. Five minutes would be the best and I’m sure you can find at least five minutes.
There are many ways to meditate such as guided meditation, mindfulness meditation, tai chi, and yoga to name a few. You will need to have some fun and try different techniques till you find one that you like. While there are many different ways to meditate, each technique includes these common features: focused attention, relaxed breathing, a quiet setting, a comfortable position, and an open attitude.
Have you tried some type of meditation before? What is your favorite way to meditate? Yoga? Mindfulness? Guided? Other?
12. Affirmations
I have been using affirmations for more than 15 years as a way to improve all areas of my life including health, relationships, self-esteem, and even finding a husband. I do believe they have helped me in certain areas of my life.
What is an affirmation? A crude but familiar description would be “mind over matter”. To be more precise, affirmations are powerful, positive statements that aim to direct your conscious and subconscious mind, challenging previously held unhealthy and negative thinking patterns.
For example, let us say you accidentally overdrew your checking account and were charged a Non-Sufficient Funds fee. Most people would think or mutter to themselves “That was stupid!” or something similar. This is a negative thought and if repeated over and over again, eventually it will negatively affect your life in some way. Instead of the negative thought, if you think or whisper a positive affirmation like “I can make mistakes and learn.” and repeat this over and over again, eventually it will positively affect your life.
Some affirmations that I use to deal with stress and anxiety:
“With each breath, I feel calmer, more relaxed, more self-confident.”
“I feel relaxed, calm, and empowered throughout my day.”
“Stress flows out of me easily.”
Affirmations take a lot of effort and dedication since you are trying to change your way of thinking from negative to positive. I know you can do it!
Suggestion: Go check out the author Louise Hay and read her books! You can find her books on Amazon here!
Louise Hay’s book is one of the books I list in my “10 best books that can improve your life”. Check out that list here.
Download my FREE Affirmation pages for busy moms and kids by clicking here!
13. Church & Prayers
This is a deeply personal and relatively new way to reduce stress for me. Growing up as a young girl, I remember that my family believed in God but we were not very religious and did not go to church very often. This has all changed now that I married and raising 4 children in this increasingly chaotic world. My husband and I have found that regular attendance and fellowship with other people is a good way to start the new week. The children like learning, singing, and talking with their new friends. I like talking with fellow moms who always seem to be happy, listen, and give their advice from past experiences. Attending church is like a “reset” button between weeks.
During the week, especially at the end of stressful days, I will say a prayer to God to discuss my problems and concerns, ask for help to be a better person and mother, ask for guidance to get through family or personal problems, etc. At the end of my conversation with God, there is an increase in the peace and joy that I feel. It is similar to the happiness you have after talking with your best friend. I highly recommend that you download the King James Bible app onto your phone, if you don’t have it yet. It will always be with you and remind you to pray.
14. Pets
Those times in the past when I and my family had pets, I always found it quite relaxing when my dogs and cats sat on my lap, and I just pet them. The look of contentment on my dog’s face and the contented purr of my cat would make all my stress and anxiety dissipate.
There have been many studies on how people can benefit from having pets like cats and dogs. Simple internet searches will show you that pets can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. They can help manage loneliness and depression with their companionship, especially with older adults. Regular walking and playing with pets can decrease blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and triglyceride levels.
Cautionary Note: While pets can offer many benefits, pet owners will tell you that they are a big responsibility and will require a lot of your attention, time, and effort. Pet ownership is a unique lifestyle that is not for everyone.
Do you have a pet? If so, what is your favorite pet and breed?
Thinking of getting a pet? Please consider adopting from your local Humane Society.
Thank you for treading through my “14 Ways for Women to Reduce Stress.” I truly hope that a few of my suggestions can help you reduce any stress you may be experiencing. If you have severe, constant stress and anxiety that is affecting your health, please consult with a medical professional.
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” – Mother Teresa
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